You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
