You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
