Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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