the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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