I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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