I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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