He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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