making cat noises will not fix the situation.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
