Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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