Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
