I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
