She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
whose ass print is on the piano?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize