just come out here and I will go home with you...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
