so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
