your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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