apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
