he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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