honey bunches of taint.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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