You can't motorboat a personality
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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