Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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