6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
