...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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