What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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