Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
