she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
