shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
