Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
