He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
