Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is Oprah even human
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
