i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
