I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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