I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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