I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
