nut hugger
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
