I hate your face
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
