I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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