i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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