You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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