Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
