around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
