so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
