Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
