note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
