"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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