Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize