im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
