Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize