You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
