There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
