dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
