Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You can't just leave with hair like that
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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