I wannas sexs uuuuu
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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