yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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