The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wakey wakey hands off snakey
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
