Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
