If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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