I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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