If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
