only if we run a train.
done.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
