i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They have beer where we have blood.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
