This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
