Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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