next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
