The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
