I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I believe in your delicious
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
