S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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